On Sunday, I officially submitted both Lights and ms and me to the Chicago International Film Festival. I’ll hear the decision in or before September.
It was a big step to actually submit the films. I’ve always had this thing where I love making the films, but I’m petrified to show them to audiences. Of course, this is something that I really need to get over if I’m going to continue in this career. I’m working on it. I think submitting the films to this festival is a step in the right direction.
I did submit both films in the student category. To be completely technical, they are student films because I was a student when I made them. They are still student films, despite the fact that I used equipment from the freelance company that I work for, and despite the fact that I know how much I’ve grown in the past 5 years. They are still student films, and I need to remember that.
Having my films classified as student films isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It does seem to carry somewhat of a negative connotation for me though, for reasons I can’t exactly place. Perhaps it’s because I see myself as a semi-professional since I do make money from freelance work? At the same time, I’m hesitant to call myself a professional because I know I’m not up to par with the “real” professionals.
I think having the films submitted as student films will work well with this being my first time at a large scale festival. If they are chosen to actually be shown, I think I’ll be less nervous, less critical of myself. If they are chosen to be shown, then I think I’ll be able to just enjoy the moment for what it is.
I’m looking forward to hearing a decision, regardless of what it may be. It would be really cool to be chosen though. We’ll see how it goes!