Missed Opportunities

At this point, I have graduated. I have left my retail job. I have accomplished a big matter of personal business. I’ve submitted my newest films to three film festivals. I’ve heard back from one. I’ve been helping with a podcast created by two of my friends.

I’ve decided to start this blog post with those things which can be figured and refigured as positive things. The reason I have decided to start the post in that way is because the things I say beyond this point will seem incredibly negative. Some days I do find myself sitting around, stewing in this negativity, but I want to remind myself that I am still in a positive situation, and I still can do productive things.

This post will be about opportunities that I’ve missed out on in the last couple of months. These opportunities range from full-time jobs to part-time jobs and temporary positions as a production assistant. It’s made me think about what it is that I want to do, what my limitations are, and how those limitations hinder me.

I suppose I’ll start with the full-time and part-time jobs that I’ve passed or missed out on because I’ve been thinking about that most often. When I first graduated, I was looking for jobs every day on multiple sites. It was a big part of my day. It didn’t take long to realize that there weren’t any jobs available around where I live. I have ties to the area where I live which do, no matter how much people will deny it, affect my job prospects.

For example, there are a lot of positions in Chicago obviously. In order to get to Chicago, I would have to commute by train. If, hypothetically, I was to get a job in Chicago for a news station, I could find myself up the creek. Jobs in the news are notorious for being unpredictable. You can’t stop the news. It goes on with or without you. Let’s say I’m needed at the station at 2:00AM. How do I get there? The trains aren’t running at that time.

With that example in mind, I’ve been looking for jobs in my immediate area. There aren’t many. There aren’t many at all. This made me consider part-time jobs as well. With the way I see it, a part-time job would be great for my situation because I would have some income coming in and I’d still have time to devote to my personal projects. I know that I want to stay away from retail though. I’m not good at that. I would prefer a part-time job with set hours so that I know when I’m working all the time, and there aren’t any surprises.

On that note, I’ve only seen one part-time job that I was interested in, and it would be categorized for this post as a missed opportunity. It was a position as an assistant event planner at a location that I’m very familiar with. I would have been qualified if I had applied, but I took too long to think about it. Before I knew it, a few weeks had gone by, and the position was no longer available. You could say that I thought about it for so long because I wasn’t entirely happy with it, but it is a missed opportunity nonetheless.

My other missed opportunities happened in a span of maybe a week. It all happened so fast and at such a busy time. A friend of mine shared with me two different opportunities to work as a production assistant, once on an independent film and again for a professional sport event.

When it came to the independent film, there were a variety of factors. It was last minute which is often very stressful for me and managing a chronic illness. I was wearing a wrist brace at the time because I couldn’t open a door without pain. The weather was a factor. The length of the day was a factor. I made the decision to say no for my individual health, but I felt like a total heel for it regardless. That’s the type of thing that I want to get into, so it felt really terrible for me to miss out on that opportunity.

For the sporting event, that was the same, yet different. This event added in the obstacle of driving, which I’m not comfortable with when I don’t know the area since my vision isn’t the best. It was several days during a busy time, rather than a single day. It wasn’t last minute, but I passed on it anyway. I felt bad about this decision, but not as much as the film opportunity since that more closely related to where I want to be.

All of these events have come together to make me feel pretty awful sometimes. I’m still looking for things that I can do that don’t clash with my limitations. I need to remember that there are things I can be working on once all the dust settles from my current situation.

I am looking forward to those things. Hopefully I can start on them sooner rather than later.

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